July Vlog 2026
No one understands:
The loss of a spouse is a unique grief.
By Mary Beth Woll and Linda Smith
Have you ever had someone tell you, “I understand what you’re going through,” after the loss of your spouse—and silently thought, No, you really don’t?
As widows ourselves, we understand that feeling.
I’m Mary Beth Woll, and alongside Linda Smith, I serve as co-director of The Widow’s Project, soon to be known as Healing Hope for the Widowed. Our new name reflects our heart to serve both women and men who are navigating the difficult journey of life after losing a spouse.
A Unique Kind of Loss
The grief of losing a spouse is unlike any other loss.
Marriage is an exclusive relationship. It is built on years of shared experiences, private conversations, dreams, disappointments, routines, and deep intimacy. No one else knows your spouse the way you do—not even children, parents, or lifelong friends.
Linda lost her husband, Kirby, thirteen years ago. I lost my husband, Bob, seven years ago.
While we both understand widowhood, I didn’t lose Kirby, and Linda didn’t lose Bob. We are the only two people in the world who truly know what those specific losses felt like.
Every marriage is unique, and every loss is unique.
What Widows and Widowers Share
Although every relationship is different, there are experiences that many widows and widowers have in common.
Suddenly, there is no one sitting across the dinner table.
No one to discuss travel plans with.
No one to share everyday decisions, joys, frustrations, or quiet moments.
These shared experiences create a bond among those who have walked this path.
Some spouses died suddenly. Others endured long illnesses. Some caregivers spent years caring for their loved one before saying goodbye. While our stories differ, there are common threads that connect us.
That is why gathering with other widows and widowers can be so healing.
The Power of Sharing Your Story
One of the most meaningful things we do in our support groups is talk about our spouses.
We tell stories.
We remember.
We laugh.
Sometimes we cry.
Sharing memories helps us feel less alone.
Recently, someone contacted me and shared a story about Bob from his early twenties, when they played in a band together. He described Bob as the most talented keyboard player he had ever known. Hearing stories like that is precious because it keeps those memories alive and reminds us that our loved ones left an impact on many lives.
When we tell our stories, we honor the people we loved while helping our own hearts heal.
Healing Through Community
In our Thursday evening Zoom groups, we often see widows discovering they are not alone.
Someone else’s husband battled Alzheimer’s.
Someone else’s spouse died unexpectedly.
Someone else received that heartbreaking phone call during COVID.
As people share their experiences, they find understanding, encouragement, and practical support from others who truly “get it.”
For men who have lost their wives, the same principle applies. Healing often happens best in the company of others who have walked a similar road.
Grief and Trauma
For many people, the loss of a spouse is not only grief—it is trauma.
Research shows that telling our story repeatedly can help us process traumatic experiences. That’s one reason our Heart Work process is so valuable. Giving voice to our experiences helps us make sense of what happened and gradually reduces the intensity of the pain.
Sometimes well-meaning people want us to “move on” more quickly than our hearts are ready.
But grief doesn’t follow a timetable.
Even years later, certain moments can still bring tears—a familiar song, a face in a crowd, or a memory that unexpectedly surfaces.
That doesn’t mean we’re stuck in our grief.
It means we loved deeply.
And love leaves a lasting imprint.
Comforting Others with the Comfort We’ve Received
One of the beautiful truths of Scripture is that God comforts us so that we can comfort others.
As we receive His healing, we become vessels of hope for those who are still struggling.
Every conversation, every support group, every shared story becomes an opportunity for God’s comfort to flow through us into another hurting heart.
And in the process, we often discover that helping others brings additional healing to ourselves.
Jesus Is Our Hope
When widows and widowers gather together, we don’t just share our pain—we share our hope.
We remind one another that Jesus is with us in every step of this journey.
With God’s Word, God’s people, and God’s Spirit, healing becomes possible.
The road is still difficult, but it is no longer impossible.
When we keep our eyes fixed on Christ, we find strength for today and hope for tomorrow.
Join Us in Bringing Hope
Scripture tells us in James 1:27 that pure and undefiled religion is to care for widows and orphans in their distress.
There is a unique distress that comes with losing a spouse, and our mission is to walk alongside those who are experiencing it.
If you would like to support this ministry and help us continue offering grief support, education, and hope to widows and widowers, we invite you to partner with us.
Together, we can help grieving hearts find healing, community, and lasting hope in Christ.
May God bless you on your journey.
Mary Beth Woll & Linda Smith
Healing Hope for the Widowed
If this article encouraged you, The Widows Project offers community, support groups, and practical resources to help widows walk forward with faith, strength, and hope.
Click to find out more, and “Give 50”.
Click here to join the Courage Circle.
Click the image above to make a donation today!
